In today’s world, the role of breadwinner is no longer confined to traditional gender norms. Recent stats show that 45% of women now earn the same or more than their male partners, nearly triple the percentage from the 1970s. But being the money maker can come with a unique set of challenges, especially when creating a healthy relationship dynamic with your partner while you’re navigating the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.
Karina F. Daves shared in episode 235 of Cubicle to CEO how working with her husband on their relationship dynamic not only made them a stronger unit, but also 4Xed her business’ revenue!
So, if you’re a female entrepreneur wearing the breadwinner crown, here are four ways you can keep your relationship on solid ground:
First things first, acknowledge the elephant in the room. The dynamics may feel a bit different now that you’re the primary money maker. Animosity and tension can manifest subtly, causing a rift between partners. So address any feelings of jealousy or competition head-on. In episode 235, Karina reflects how working with her husband to redefine what “head of household” looks like in their own marriage – instead of what society says – provides clarity and confidence on how they approach decisions as partners.
You’re a boss of your business, but that doesn’t mean you’re the boss of your relationship. It’s essential you recognize that you shouldn’t solve every issue on your own. Avoid falling into the trap of trying to control the outcome or dictate how your partner should think or behave. Remember, you’re a team, and that means sharing the load.
Instead, make sure there is collaborative communication, allowing all sides to have buy-in on decisions that affect both of you. Also, give your partner the autonomy to decide how they want to process their feelings. If they want to talk it out with you, great! If they want to work it out individually, that works too!
Karina emphasizes how this shift can help you avoid falling into the trap of becoming a “counselor” in your marriage, rather than a partner. Just because your income may be causing a strain, doesn’t mean you need to be the designated problem solver.
Regardless of who’s bringing in the cash, both you and your partner deserve moments of peace and clarity to recenter your priorities. Whether it’s hiring help with childcare, seeking guidance from a therapist, or relying on friends and family, don’t hesitate to reach out for support when needed.
Tune in for specific examples of how Karina and her husband divide household responsibilities and take time to fill their own cups as individuals.
Having a strong support system in place can help relieve some of your stress and create space for your relationship to thrive.
The truth is some days will be better than others, but being ready for rainy days will help you roll with the punches as they come. Part of being flexible means understanding that your partner might not always be 100% okay with not being the breadwinner. It’s recognizing that their desire to provide and protect may run deep in their identity, but it’s not your job to fix it.
Instead, be there to support them through those tough days. Let them know you’ve got their back, rain or shine. Together, you’ll weather the storm and come out even stronger on the other side.
Being the primary money maker in your relationship has its hurdles, but you’ve got what it takes to clear them. Keep those lines of communication open, lean on your support system when you need it, and remember, growth is the ultimate goal. By facing challenges together, you and your partner can emerge stronger and more united than ever before.
Want to hear how Karina F. Daves used these methods to improve her marriage and her business’ bottom line? Listen to episode 235 of Cubicle to CEO – available everywhere you listen to podcasts!
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